


A Good Experience With Love

by bpd_changeling



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Blush - Freeform, Established Relationship, M/M, blink has been through a lot of shit, fluffy but also sorta angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 10:47:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12364047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bpd_changeling/pseuds/bpd_changeling
Summary: Falling in love with Mush was not something Blink had planned on.Luckily, leaving is not something Mush ever plans on.(Rated T for language and brief mentions of past abuse, homophobia, and death)





	A Good Experience With Love

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I know Mush is one of the ones with the pre-established names, but since it's not specifically stated in the movie or musical, I'm choosing to ignore it. I do hope you all can forgive me. I just get really attached to certain headcanons, and those happen to include the Newsies' names. So, yeah. As far as this fic is concerned, Mush's real name is Ryan Kinsey, and Blink's is Brendan Robins.

     Falling in love with Ryan "Mush" Kinsey was not something Blink had planned on. In fact, he'd tried as hard as he could not to. Some days, he managed to convince himself that he was over it, he had completely let it go, but then Mush would smile that thousand-watt smile. Or get ridiculously excited about the tiniest things. Or casually kiss Blink on the cheek in greeting. Or say his real name- _Brendan_ \- as if it was something special, as if it meant something incredible, and Blink just feel deeper and deeper. He believed in fate, but he knew it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. Fate was terrifying. Fate would always, _always_ bite you in the ass. Or, sometimes, in the eye.

     "Babe?" Blink started, snapping out of his reverie. He was sitting on his couch, boyfriend snuggled up beside him.

"Sorry, just spaced out for a second." Mush smiled.

"That's okay, you just looked kind of sad." Blink's heart squeezed. He couldn't find a response, so he just let out a long sigh and put his head in Mush's lap. The other boy immediately began stroking his hair, and some of the tension flowed out of his body. He muttered, "I think I'm in love with you," into the fabric of Mush's sweater. Honestly, he didn't think it, he knew it, but part of him was still trying to fight the undeniable _rightness_ that he felt whenever Mush was in the same room.

     Mush frowned.

"Huh? I didn't catch that." Blink shook his head, trying to dismiss the statement, but Mush poked his cheek. "No, come on, I wanna hear!" Blink groaned but forced himself back into a sitting position so he could meet his boyfriend's eye.

"I said..." He faltered for a second, then pushed through. "I said I think I'm in love with you." Mush looked both pleased and confused.

"Why did that have to be a secret?" he asked in a lightly teasing voice. "I've told you I loved you at least three times now." Blink shook his head and ran agitated hands through his hair.

"No, you don't understand!" He sounded suddenly angry to his own ears, but the only person he felt frustrated with was himself. Mostly he just felt desperate to get his point across. He took Mush's hands and squeezed them, trying to make it clear that he wasn't angry at him. "You don't- I love you, and you don't know how much that fucking scares me." His voice dropped to almost a whisper. "I haven't had good experiences with love. Of any kind."

     Understanding dawned in Mush's expression. Blink didn't talk much about his past, but he'd confided his story to Mush soon after they'd started dating- how Blink's father had been physically abusive and his mother hadn't been able to protect him, though she tried as hard as she could, how he had lost both his parents and his right eye in a car crash when he was nine, how his grandmother had kicked him out on the street after she caught him kissing another boy at fourteen, how the boy- his first boyfriend- had told him that dating him was too much drama and abandoned him, how he'd been shunted from one foster home to another until he turned eighteen and could live on his own. Of _course_ he was afraid of love after a life like that.

     Mush wrapped his arms tightly around Blink's neck and pressed a soft kiss to his hair.

"Brendan," he said, and Blink felt a familiar warmth in his stomach. "I know how terrifying this all must be. I can't imagine having gone through what you have, and I wouldn't want to. But Bren, I swear to god, I will never, _ever_ hurt you like that. As far as I can help it, I'll never treat you badly, and I will _definitely_ never leave. I love you more than I can possibly put into words. Every moment I spend with you is a gift. Every single day, I feel so, so lucky that out of everyone in the world, you chose me to let into your life, and I would never in a million years give that up."

     Blink wasn't even sure how it happened, but just like that, they were both wrapped tightly together, laughing and crying and rocking back and forth. He knew his fears and insecurities hadn't just _vanished_ , but for right now, he was okay. Right now he felt warm and safe and surrounded by love, and he planned to appreciate it as long as he could. So he let Mush hold him and kiss his face, and he let himself give in to it completely, and he let everything be okay, just for a little while. Just for a little while.


End file.
